Drag artists shine the spotlight on their experiences with “gender euphoria.”

By; Carlee Schram

Glitter, heels, hair, makeup – the ultimate toolbox. Tools you use to express yourself, to create the you that you want others to see. Tools that are very familiar to Addy HD.

“I like to look pretty,” she said. “I love fashion, I’m very much, as much as the term gets bashed, a look queen.” Nineteen-year-old Michael Sherwood, otherwise known as Addy HD, has been a drag artist for a year and a half. Sherwood’s usual style is feminine, her alter-ego Addy, the over-the-top glam girl of her dreams. 

“A lot of the time I feel real euphoria when I am Addy because she’s just like the culmination of what I want to present,” she said. “Why can’t I naturally have like erck!” she exclaimed, cinching her waist with her hands, “and unk!” she said as she slid her hands up her torso and mimicked a full chest, referencing the figure she dons to portray Addy HD on stage.

Drag artistry and the ever-evolving concept of gender have long been intertwined. The art tells a story of gender exaggeration that can only exist with the inclusion of transgenderpeople.

Sherwood, the self-proclaimed trans icon, credits the coronavirus pandemic and inspirational media figures like Sasha Colby, the season 15 winner in reality competition show “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” in part for helping them confirm their gender identity. 

This confirmation of gender that Sherwood talks about can in part be explained under a larger umbrella term that is just emerging in scholarly research and literature but has been heavily used within the trans community for years: gender euphoria. 

“It’s like a good butterfly in the stomach,” Sherwood said of the term. “It sort of starts around here,” motioning to her stomach, “and trickles upwards and downwards,” she said, dancing her fingers up and down her body. “It’s so unique to everybody.”

“It’s like having a sense of relief,” saidLark Pascual aka Feather Fatale, a 22-year-old drag artist and 2023 winner of the Seattle drag competition “Mr. Sissy Butch,” which featured an all transmasculine cast. “It's just coming to terms with yourself, finding peace within yourself,” Pascual explained. This is why he likes drag, having the ability to hyper accentuate and create different aspects of his gender identity. “When I think of gender it’s always: what do I want to do with it?”

Drag can be an opportunity to play with the idea of gender, essentially try each on and see which fits best. The supportive community contributes to the freedom of gender expression that fosters self-reflection and realization.

“It’s something to play with,” Sherwood said of gender. “Something to just have fun with, something to fuck around with and throw gender into a blender. Paint with it, stir it, eat it. Gender is a performance and I do not know my lines.” 

Fluidity of identity and gender is supported by some quantitative research journals mentioned by the National Library of Medicine but more often evidence against the idea of a gender binary can be found in first-hand psychological accounts. 

“Because of the way we operate in society, there is a binary within gender,” Pascual explained. “Really it’s a spectrum, and overall it’s very fluid. But some people don’t like that fluidity.”

Twenty-two-year-old Sol Vandeman recalled their first memory of the gender binary acting as a wall between herself and others. “I really loved Disney princesses when I was younger, specifically Aurora otherwise known as Sleeping Beauty,” they recalled. 

Their mom bought them an Aurora locket necklace in elementary school and Vandeman remembers being “so excited to show everyone at school” but when they did they were met with blank stares. 

“They thought it was weird because I was assigned male at birth,” they said, “to be playing with a ‘girl’s’ toy.”

Years later, when Vandeman was 16, they joined the drag community in Spokane, Washington and found a new supportive group that helped her find her true self instead of asking her to hide it.

“At the time , I identified as a cis gay man because it was the only thing in my vocabulary and knowledge to call myself,” Vandeman, known onstage as Sage Valentine explained. “The community was everything to me [when] learning how to label myself and identify myself.” Despite not having one specific label for how they see themselves, Vandeman listed trans-femme and nonbinary also noting that this may change in the future and that they feel this is a normal part of the human experience. 

“Gender is ever-changing and has no one definition. It’s something really personal to every person,” they said. 

Pascual also found strong community support within the drag scene, noting that his fellow “Mr. Sissy Butch” contestants made him feel at home in his gender despite the fact he hadn’t undergone  top surgery or started testosterone like the rest of them.

“No matter how I’m presenting, just having people know that under all this shit I’m a guy. I’m a fucking dude. I just appreciate it,” he said. 

Whether you view gender as a fluid idea, performance or simply a way we label each other there seems to be one overarching theme in common: respect. Within the drag community, Pascual, Vandeman and Sherwood were able to find overwhelming support and understanding for how they identified and all three believe it should be this way in every circle.

“We’re all just fucking people, connections between humans is invaluable. One of the most harcore things to do is just be fucking nice,” Pascual said.