On the Road Again
How relocating family affects a developing child.
STORY BY MARINA PRICE | IMAGE BY NATALIE WILHELM
Alison Wood likes grape-flavored things. She likes grape-flavored candy and grape-flavored juice. She prefers grape-flavored medicine. She even had purple streaks in her hair for a while. So when she moved from Renton, Washington to London, England to find no grape-flavored foods on the shelves, she was shocked. “It was the most ridiculous thing, there are no grape-flavored things! I was really, truly missing it,” she says. Her aunt and uncle ended up mailing her a care package from the United States filled with every grape-flavored candy they could find.
Alison, a recent Western grad, moved to London for her senior year of high school. Her mother accepted a teaching job in the summer of 2011 at the American Community School in Hillingdon, a neighborhood just north of London. It’s a private school, but Wood was able to attend for free. She was excited about the move. “I wanted to be that kid with the awesome accent,” she laughs. “I was like, ‘This is going to be great!’”
According to the United States Bureau of Labor, 13 million American kids move every year, whether that be across the street or across the globe. Those kids are thrust into new social environments where they need to learn to make new friends.
whether that be across the street or across the globe. Those kids are thrust into new social environments where they need to learn to make new friends.
For some kids, like Alison, making friends comes easy. Alison is bubbly and cheerful, quick to hug new friends and introduce herself to strangers.
For others, like recent Pacific Lutheran University graduate Carina Waite, it was a little harder. By the time she started the ninth grade, she had already moved schools 11 times, having lived in Washington, Kentucky, California, Alaska and Kansas. A self-described introvert, Carina was born on what is now Joint Base Lewis-McChord to an Army family, and had a hard time making friends due to moving so often. “It took a couple weeks to really get the school dynamic and figure out who I was probably going to be spending most of my time with.” she says. “I think my social skills suffered. I moved too often to really make good friendships, I was pretty nervous and shy.”
Carina is not alone. According to research published by the American Psychological Association, children who are relocated frequently are more likely to have less substantial social relationships, even as adults.
Fortunately, after her dad retired from the army, Carina and her family moved to Orting, Washington, where she was able to finally meet people and make connections when she tried out for the volleyball team at her high school. She eventually moved to the management side of the team. “That’s how I met all my friends — we were on the same team. Then all throughout high school we were in band together, we went to Disneyland together, we were in the same classes and did the same activities,” she says. “That’s really how we bonded.”
Moving is very much a reality for American children. More and more resources are becoming available on how to ease the transitions and make sure that moving helps children develop more, rather than hinder it. Not all children react the same way when the prospect of moving is presented to them. For example, in 2011, Alison’s mother was the runner-up winner of a Fulbright scholarship to study at Dublin University, but lost out in the final round. Both were crestfallen — they were looking forward to going abroad. This led Alison to encourage her mother to pursue a teaching job overseas anyway, which she did. Alison made a distinct effort to move abroad. She was excited to meet new people from new places.
But for Western alumna Cori Schleich, this was not the case.
“I was super upset and threw a mega tantrum,” she says. Cori was 11 years old when she found out her family was moving to Athens, Greece. “I believe I might have thrown a shoe or two at my parents,” she laughs.
Cori grew up in Wasilla, Alaska. If you asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up 16 years ago, she would have told you she wanted to open up a bed and breakfast, to show the world how great her small town was. Her parents broke the news to her and her sister that they would be moving to Athens one night in January, after they had come home from an International Job Fair.
“To this day, I still apologize to my parents for how awful I was during the time I was there,” she says. Now that she’s older, she says that the experience was one of the best things that has happened to her. “Being forced to meet new people and see new places and try new things and just really be uncomfortable has taught me to look for more experiences like that. The only way you’ll grow is if you go out of your comfort zone.”