To Be a Dad
The journey of being a father: the ups and downs that have shown me the direction for what I want in my life.
I raise my daughter in the air in the beautiful sun at Red Mountain Park in Mesa, Arizona. // Photo by Juan Baldovinos
by Juan Baldovinos
It’s not that simple, especially when you find out you are going to be a father at 19 years old.
I had two routes in front of me: one was to be a coward and let my child grow up without a father. The other was to man up and accept responsibility.
According to the U.S. census bureau, around 18 million children under the age of 18 grow up without a dad. Without a father in the household, there is a strong possibility of a child developing a sense of loneliness throughout their entire life.
The moment I decided I needed to alter my life for my daughter was frightening, but I did not want her to be a part of those devastating statistics.
One second, I was studying for exams and planning for the next party to go to with my buddies. The next second, my wife and I were building a crib for our daughter. I was no longer a kid with nothing to worry about. I now had a child and a lot on my plate.
I won’t lie, I wasn’t entirely excited to be having a child at first. As a young, dumb ex-college kid, I was selfish and used to prioritizing myself. I was terrified, certain my life was over.
I was so wrong.
The birth of my child was a moment that allowed me to mature into a true adult, while also giving me a lifelong best friend.
Nayalle Marie Baldovinos was born on Nov. 9, 2015. I don’t want to be corny or sound cliche, but she changed my life. As soon as I set my eyes on her, I truly experienced a different type of love. She looked like a doll, with chocolate brown eyes and a smile beaming like a sun.
This was my daughter, and I was so proud to be her dad.
Carrying my daughter for the first time felt like opening a present on Christmas. As the love for my daughter grew, the responsibilities as parents did as well.
My family and I enjoy a day in the sun at Red Moutain Park in Mesa, Arizona. // Photo by Juan Baldovinos
Parenting is a team dynamic, so sacrifices like your hobbies, alone time and sleep will be surrendered. Getting up at 3 a.m. to change a diaper when you have work at 6 a.m. is not fun, but waking up to your child hugging you in comfort makes all those sacrifices worth it. It makes you feel on top of the world.
I am devoted to forming this little person into who they will be in the future. The first steps, the first “dada,” the first laugh, the first drool, the first everything is insane.
These moments are priceless, but what brings tears to my eyes is when my child asks to play my favorite song again, or when she asks to play a sport that I have played my whole life.
Blow the rainbows and butterflies out of the way now. There were bumps during my family’s journey not just because we had a kid, but because no one’s life is perfect. At the time, my issue was bills. I was paying them, but I did not enjoy the job that was providing for my family.
My passion was journalism, and I put school on hold to take control of my situation and raise my child. I realized I couldn’t go through the motions of a job that I hated for the rest of my life.
From this point on, I decided to stop allowing a child to be a Get Out of Jail Free card for not pursuing my goals as a sports journalist.
I went back to college at 22 years old. One may think I went back to school to show my daughter that no matter the obstacle, you can do what you want. Although this is true, my time away from school ultimately made me realize that I wanted to go back for myself.
Nayalle and I pose for a photo at Red Moutain Park in Mesa, Arizona. // Photo by Juan Baldovinos
I was no longer in school because I was pursuing a major my parents wanted for me. I was now going to school to be a sports journalist like I had always dreamed about.
Sports have always been intertwined with my relationship with my dad. Since I can remember, my dad and I have been watching football and baseball together. My dad was there to see me hit my first ball and take my last snap on the football field.
It did not feel right to leave sports as a chapter of my life to be forgotten. My daughter re-sparked my love of being involved in athletics. Sports journalism was how I was going to keep that light glowing.
Today, I am a senior at Western Washington University majoring in journalism. My daughter is six years old and in kindergarten. Without the love and support from my daughter and wife, I do not think I would be where I am today.
That is a position that is not just based on success, but based on being truly happy.
Being a dad allowed me to push myself and question what I wanted for my life. I want a career in journalism. But, more than anything, fatherhood made me realize how passionate I am to simply be there for my daughter and my wife.
Being a dad is an amazing journey that has allowed me to form myself into the best version of myself. My daughter supplied true motivation while allowing me to obtain a sense of clarity that life is not all about money and material things.
Life is about living in the moment and appreciating the now. It’s about creating memories with your loved ones and being genuinely content.
Being a dad is what allowed me to discover these answers.