From foster to fields to family

How a soccer player’s never-give-up mindset found her a new home

Whatcom Waves goalkeeper and team captain Lexi McKinney reaches to block a shot during an indoor Wednesday-league game at the Bellingham Sportsplex on Jan. 25, 2023. // Photo by Taras McCurdie

Written by Taras McCurdie

Lexi McKinney was in third grade when her childhood changed. The school day ended, and as McKinney waited for her biological mom to pick her up and go home, she saw several police officers arrest her mother at the school’s front steps.

“It was right in front of my eyes. I was sitting in the principal’s office, and he had a window that you can see out of, and I watched them do it,” McKinney said. “In that moment in time, I didn’t really understand what was going on. All I knew is that I wanted to be with my mother. When I didn’t see her again, that’s kind of when it hit me, and that’s when the sadness kicked in.”

That day would be the start of McKinney’s foster care journey. Within hours, her first foster family arrived at theChild and Family Services office where McKinney had been transferred to after school, ready to take her to a new home.

“I remember [the foster mom] bringing me a teddy bear. She was very nice, and you could tell she wanted to make me feel at home and not so stressed. She definitely tended to my needs as much as she could accommodate them,” McKinney said. “I was her very first foster child, so it was kind of a new thing for the both of us.”

For McKinney, that would be the first of more than 20 foster families she would live with until she aged out of the system at 21.

Being 8 years old and entering foster care as a third grader is not an uncommon statistic, according to a 2021 report from the Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System managed by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families and the Children’s Bureau.

Unfortunately, multiple foster families also meant multiple schools. Up until third grade, McKinney lived in Bellingham with her biological mom. The time between third and fifth grade, she lived with about four to five foster families while also being introduced to soccer.

“[Soccer] was something I fell in love with,” McKinney said. “That was probably the biggest moment in my life where it actually felt like I belonged somewhere [and] was able to meet new people and be myself and not have to worry about feeling like an outsider.”

After elementary school, McKinney split up the first part of her sixth-grade year, attendingtwo middle schools in various counties and then moving to Iowa where she completed the rest of sixth, all of seventh and the first part of eighth grade.

“Growing up in this system, you learn to adapt very quickly and so moving from school to school was a normal thing in all honesty,” she said. “It was kind of something that was expected rather than unexpected just because it happens so frequently.”

Once McKinney moved back to Washington, she finished the last part of eighth grade at a middle school in Everett. Out of the four middle schools in Washington and Iowa combined, she stayed with a total of four families, one with each school.

After grade school, she attended three high schools where she mostly played the goalkeeper position. During this time, she also lived with six more families in Whatcom, Skagit and Snohomish counties. She graduated high school in 2019 and went on to receive scholarships to play soccer atEverett Community College during the 2019–20 season.

After breaking her ankle twice and having two major surgeries, she ceased playing soccer until recently.

Suneeta Eisenberg, executive director, owner and player for the Whatcom Waves, kicks the ball during an indoor Wednesday-league game at the Bellingham Sportsplex on Jan. 25, 2023. The Waves won 6–4. // Photo by Taras McCurdie

The Whatcom Waves

After community college, McKinney moved back to Bellingham to attend Western Washington University. McKinney had been in the university’s Passport to Careers program, a government scholarship for foster kids. After dropping out of Western, McKinney received a call one day from Suneeta Eisenberg who would have been her new case manager. McKinney stated she was no longer attending college but missed playing soccer, which then opened the doors for a local soccer team.

“We just kind of got to talking,” McKinney said. “And [Eisenberg] had mentioned the Waves, and I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, I would love to join another team.’”

Eisenberg is the executive director, owner and current player of the Whatcom Waves, a semi-pro soccer team, which was formed last winter. With the team starting its second season this year, it’s important to highlight how its mission has been put into motion where everyone is included regardless of skill level, age, race, ethnicity, gender or one’s life history.

For a nonprofit organization, Eisenberg’s goal was to provide players with an opportunity to play the game they love.

“For me, it was to create a sense of belonging and a sense of that next step for athletes who might feel they don’t have a place to go after college or maybe they took a break from college, so a space they could collaborate with others,” she said.

During the building process, Eisenberg created four core values as part of the team’s codes of conduct: commitment, compassion, collaboration and competitiveness.

Eisenberg said the commitment piece was structured to where players bought into the team’s mission of dedication, showing up and having that feeling that they were a part of something bigger than themselves and were “in it to win it.” She also instilled the value of compassion into the team because it’s important, she said, for each member of the Waves to care about other people, regardless if they’re a fan, an opponent or even someone on their own team.

For collaboration, the team is working alongside local entities that support the Waves’ mission of seeking social, racial and climate justice through sports. And with the competitiveness value, Eisenberg said it’s important for every player associated with the Waves to not only have a growth mindset but to be comfortable kicking down barriers when they arise.

In fulfilling the Waves’ goal of creating a positive environment, McKinney is not only the goalkeeper but the team captain as well.

“She’s amazing,” said Eisenberg of McKinney’s role on the team. “She’s humble, kind, funny, loving [and] has a contagious laugh, [which] brings people together. Her story is very powerful and what she’s been through has been extremely rare in someone’s life. … She really keeps me motivated because at times when I feel like, ‘Oh, what am I doing this for? Why did I start this?’ She really does bring it back full circle, and she’s like, ‘Because we need someone like you to lead, otherwise, we wouldn’t have a space to play.’”

One of McKinney’s teammates, Hannah Gibson, said she creates a solid relationship with everyone.

“During practices, she really does a good job of leading us and bringing out different ways we could look at different drills [and] what we could work on,” Gibson said. “I play defense, and she plays keeper, [so] it’s nice to have that good communication of where I need to be on the field [and] how I can do better. She’s awesome.”

In the near future, Eisenberg sees McKinney taking her leadership qualities to the next level from being captain of a team to holding a coaching position.

“She’s picking it up, and she’s helping others learn as well. She can really be a teacher on the field, and I think she’s got a lot of potential,” Eisenberg said. “As soon as she dives deep into what that potential could look like, she’s going to be unstoppable in her career path or whatever she chooses to do in life.”

Suneeta Eisenberg talks tactics with her group during a mid-session break at the Bellingham Sportsplex on Jan. 29, 2023. // Photo by Taras McCurdie

Riding the “Wave”

To describe McKinney’s journey as a bumpy, twisting and unexpected road would be an understatement. Proving people wrong was her biggest motivation.

“When I look back on it, I really don’t know how I was able to do everything,” McKinney said. “I would just say [I had] the determination of not wanting to be a statistic of being a foster kid.”

While in high school, McKinney worked at Taco Time where she experienced setbacks with a foster family. McKinney’s boss at Taco Time, who would be her soon-to-be mom, understood her situation and opened up her heart to be willing to take McKinney in as soon as possible.

“I had explained to her the situation and everything, and she said, ‘Oh, I’ll adopt you.’ And people say that all the time, [but] people don’t really mean it,” McKinney said. “And then we get our hopes up, and we get crushed.”

However, the words “I’ll adopt you” would soon become sincere. A few months later, McKinney’s social worker told her she would be moving in with her mom the next week, and they’ve been with each other ever since.

Even after living in multiple temporary homes and experiencing the emotional ups and downs, McKinney persevered through school and sports. She found her dream mother and is now a part of a growing soccer family. McKinney has one piece of advice for anyone losing hope:

“Just keep fighting for what you want. Keep going. Everything is going to be hard, but you need to keep your head up and have faith that the future has something bright in it.”