The Rise in Loneliness
A closer look at why young adults are feeling lonely.
Podcast by Sela Marino
[embed]https://soundcloud.com/klipsun-magazine/the-rise-in-loneliness[/embed]
Podcast Transcript
Sela Marino: Hello and welcome to Klipsun Out Loud, podcasts from the Summer 2021 edition of Western Washington University’s award-winning student magazine, Klipsun. This edition’s theme is Limitless. I’m your host, Sela Marino. Today’s topic is about the rise in loneliness in young adults. Today I am here with Connor Craig and Tess Wardle, would you like to introduce yourselves?
Tess Wardle: Hi, I’m Tess, I’m a queer plant collector that spends way too much time playing the Sims in a vain attempt to feel control in our life.
Connor Craig: And I’m Connor, I am a peer support worker. So I work generally in the mental health field, and I am a perpetually introspective introvert. Me and Tess are close friends, divided by the border of the U.S. and Canada, but forever bonded by D&D which is how we met.
Sela: Alright, and why do you both think that there’s been a rise in loneliness amongst young adults?
Connor: For me, I’ve been mulling it over still a little bit, and I still think it’s kind of a generational thing that we’re seeing. A lot of people around our age group that’s kind of, you know, this 20-something group of people that I think are really a big proponent of where a lot of this rise in loneliness is coming from. And I think it’s got a lot to do with the way we were raised, the way people were relating to each other generally, at that time, like you started off. Just hanging out with people normally as a kid, like on the playground, going over to each other’s houses. And then it became easier to just be in your own little space and still communicate with your friends, which I feel like doesn’t quite fulfill the need that a lot of people have for those social engagements. But that’s my two cents for it.
Tess: I feel like our generation had that kind of divide when the internet came to be, and social media in general. And despite its name, I feel like social media can be more alienating than anything. Yes, it has great perks. And, you know, I’m not like demonize all social media. But I feel like a lot of the interactions that you have on there are very surface level and you’re not really getting a deeper friendship or connection most of the time, like as you’re just browsing, and it can make you feel more lonely. And I think a lot of the people our age can probably relate to that feeling. I’m not sure. Do you understand that, Sela?
Sela: Yeah, I totally understand where you’re coming from.
Connor: Maybe there’s also something to be said about the general rise, I would say in mental health awareness and kind of the effort to destigmatize a lot of these conversational topics. So it, you know, there’s probably some ring of truth to the idea that people have been lonely, and a lot of people have been lonely for a long time. But now it’s kind of become more of a, you know people are creating safe spaces to be able to talk about that sort of thing. And really, almost find some comfort in knowing that they’re not alone in their loneliness.
Sela: Yeah, for me at least, like when I see people on the Western Washington University subreddit or even Bellingham’s subreddit, it’s almost kind of nice to see other people on there talking about the same issues with loneliness and feeling like they are having a hard time reaching out to people and making friends. And it kind of makes me feel more, I guess normal.
Tess: Yeah, I mean, it doesn’t make you feel as alone because you know that there are other people that are experiencing the same thing. Cause I feel like to reach out and to try and create a friendship, you do have to open yourself up a little bit and become a little bit more vulnerable. I think just allowing yourself to be more open to more possibilities helps a lot in connecting with people, at least in my experience.
Connor: Along, I think they often go kind of in pairs with loneliness, and maybe something more akin to like, social anxiety. I think that’s probably a big facet of it as well. Right? I mean there’s a lot of intricacies that I think, kind of go into becoming not lonely. You know, it starts with those conversations of like, Hey, hi, how are you? and all that kind of stuff. But then speaking to your point, with Tess, there’s a certain vulnerability that needs to happen for that deeper level of connection. And anytime you’re vulnerable, you’re opening yourself up to be hurt, potentially, right? I mean, it’s kind of the whole point of it is somebody is being let into what you’re worried about, and kind of what makes you tick, and it can be stressful, I feel like, for a lot of people.
Sela: Yeah, I definitely get what you mean, some might say that it’s easier to just be closed off rather than to potentially make yourself vulnerable and open yourself up to getting hurt by people.
Connor: There’s something to be said I think about how a relationship with you know, between people is kind of established how it works kind of from the get go. And if you meet somebody at a certain point in your life, and then later on, you’ve changed, you’ve grown in various different ways. I think we see it a lot with families in particular, right? Some people who aren’t especially close with their family members. That relationship that you have is not necessarily set in stone. But it’s pretty ingrained at a certain point, kind of early on in your childhood and it can be difficult to change the dynamic of relationships. So I think that’s why a lot of people tend to kind of struggle with that feeling of loneliness, even though they might actually be surrounded by a bunch of people.
Tess: Yeah, I can definitely relate to that concept. It’s something that I’ve dealt with a lot, I guess in like the last couple years. But yeah, the whole concept of your relationship with your parents does kind of solidify how you view relationships in general. I know that’s not necessarily an excuse as you get older, but it’s an understandable thing that you need to know about yourself so that you can possibly correct that and just create more fulfilling friendships and relationships as you move forward.
Connor: That’s definitely a great point. I think there’s a lot of self discovery that can happen when you’re alone with yourself. Because I think everybody who’s really struggled with loneliness, maybe thinks to themselves at one point, “What kind of people do I actually want to be around? What kind of people do I like to spend my time with?” And I think a lot of those questions actually reflect kind of interestingly about yourself. What are you like? What are you actually looking for? What are you putting out there? And what are you attracting? I think it stems from a big part with the relationship that somebody has to themself.
Sela: OK, well, thank you both for coming and talking about loneliness.
Tess: Yeah, thanks for having us. This was great.
Connor: Yes, thank you.
Sela: Yeah, and hopefully we can destigmatize it as time goes on.
Connor: Absolutely. It is OK to feel alone.
Sela: And that’s it for this edition of Klipsun Out Loud, podcasts for the Summer 2021 edition of Western Washington University’s student magazine, Klipsun. Thanks for listening and I hope you have a great rest of your day.