Man’s Search for Muscle
Balancing health and self-love in an age of impossible body ideals.
Manipis coaches his students’ lifting form in the faculty Barbell Strong class // photo by Myles Weber
Written by Myles Weber
The mirrored walls and rubber floor of the Wade King Student Recreation Center is a modern-day agora to Alex Hood, a tall, dark-haired sophomore at Western Washington University. It is his place of work, his social club and his house of worship to some unnamed god of iron and flesh that resembles himself.
Alex is training to put his muscular, 210-pound physique to the test in the USA Powerlifting League this year. This was never his dream, rather a by-product of a directionless work ethic that longed to express itself.
Is Alex a gym bro? You could say that. Sightings of Alex fist-bumping other buff young men and shouting encouragement as they move heavy-laden bars are not rare.
Gym bros — or exercise enthusiasts you could more charitably call them — are often discussed with sarcasm and critique by those who are put off by the obsession of something so superficial. The bravado of 20-year-olds seething with testosterone is underpinned by something softer and humbler than it shows at first glance.
These hulking men can trigger insecurity in first timers at the gym and give a feeling that they don’t belong. Alex says this couldn’t be further from the truth.
“Most jacked guys — or even girls who are experienced in lifting — they’re all teddy bears, everyone always wants to help. I remember being that skinny kid in the gym,” he said. “I had no clue what I was doing.”
Alex is no stranger to insecurity.
His weightlifting journey started his senior year of high school during a period of big change in his life. His successful youth soccer career coming to an end, COVID-19 was just beginning to take over normal life and his two-and-a-half-year relationship with his first girlfriend was over.
Alex sunk into a depression. These pillars of his identity were gone, and he drew inward. He didn’t feel comfortable in his own skin. When he looked in a mirror, he saw that soccer had left him with thick legs and a spindly upper body that didn’t fit.
With a heart full of frustration, Alex retreated to the garage, where a pullup bar and a pair of dumbbells awaited their future lord. Alex spent hours in that garage every day, not leaving till he had done 50 reps, then 100, always pushing himself.
Perception is unique to the individual. Someone who doesn’t know Alex might look at him and see an appearance-obsessed narcissist. A deeper look would see the result of two and half years chasing self-confidence.
Three hours a day, six days a week of intentional exhaustion coupled with extensive research on training protocols and diet. The effort demands respect, but does it come from a healthy place?
Alex works his pectoralis major (chest), anterior deltoid (shoulder) and triceps brachii (arms) with an incline dumbbell press // photo by Myles Weber
What motivates Alex and others like him?
Everyone has their own reasons but the role of beauty standards in media, especially social media, is a factor that cannot be ignored.
Exposure to western media is linked to body dysmorphia and disordered eating behaviors, and this problem is growing as media becomes more pervasive. Unattainable body image has traditionally been a female issue, but as gender roles become more fluid, it has increasingly grown to affect men as well.
This may come as no surprise if you notice social media is inundated with fitness influencers and today’s biggest movie stars all look like bodybuilders — remember when James Bond kind of looked like your dad? Those days are long gone.
A 2021 study by Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, MA found that nearly a quarter of males develop high to very high concerns about their weight during adolescence or young adulthood, worrying about thinness or lack of muscularity. In a sample of middle school and high school aged boys, two-thirds reported changing their eating habits and 90% reported exercising to increase muscle size and tone.
Star and creator of the comedy show “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia,” Rob McElhenny, told Men’s Health how unrealistic the current male beauty standard is after the studio paid for him to get ripped for one season of the show.
“If you have a job — like a 9-to-5 job — quit that. Do you like food? Forget about that. Because you’re never going to enjoy anything you eat. Alcohol? Sorry. That’s out. So what you need to do — you have a chef, right? like a personal chef? — make sure the chef makes you a lot of chicken breast.” McElhenny said in the article.
Everybody has their own reason to start working out, but it is rarely the same reason that keeps them coming back years down the road. There seems to be a common thread that runs through everyone who returns to the gym: It makes them feel good.
“When I started lifting, a lot of things changed. I just felt good about myself, I was more grounded, I felt like I was putting my time into something I could be good at,” Alex said.
Alex no longer lifts to build confidence or gain muscle; he has plenty of both. He lifts to see how far he can go in a sport he has fallen in love with. The thrill is in the chase of each new strength goal.
Alex is not alone. If you have ever walked into the Wade King Student Rec Center in the last few years, there is a good chance you’ve also seen Justin Manipis, a student and weightlifting coach at Western.
Justin graduated with a degree in kinesiology and began teaching weightlifting. He loved teaching so much that, after his first day, he decided to go back to school to become a physical education teacher so he could share his love of exercise with the next generation in a healthy way.
“It is important to know that the value of exercise is beyond just body image,” he said. “It’s about mental health, it’s about stronger bones, it’s about cognition.”
Manipis coaches his students’ lifting form in the faculty Barbell Strong class // photo by Myles Weber
The physical health benefits of exercise are well documented, but research has shed light on a motive for the exercise-addicted that goes beyond big muscles. A 2018 meta-analysis of 33 clinical trials found resistance exercise training like weightlifting is a powerful mental health tool.
Resistance exercise training significantly reduces depressive symptoms and anxiety in people no matter their age, sex or health status. The data suggests that those with more severe depression benefit the most, regardless of whether they significantly improve their physical fitness.
Tyler Verrill, a graduate student and assistant researcher at Western’s Biomechanics Lab, has experienced both the mental health challenges and benefits weightlifting provides.
Tyler hasn’t taken a week off weightlifting in 16 years, and he has the muscles to prove it. It wasn’t until he experienced an injury that he truly realized how much his physique was part of his identity.
Unable to keep up with his usual routine, Tyler dropped 15 pounds, losing muscle and himself in the process.
“I was like, I don’t really care about being this weight, but I also don’t know who I am if I’m not,” Tyler said. “Mentally it really messed with me and so it kept me in the gym even when I shouldn’t have been sometimes.”
Even after his weight loss, Tyler found that people treated him the same. They still commented on how buff he was, even though he was the lightest he had been in 12 years.
“It was this false thing I had planted in my mind. I’m like okay, I’m still me,” he said.
Moving through that experience helped Tyler reconnect with his love of working out, it still serves as therapy for him.
“I always try to keep it as I’m doing it for fun, but there’s always a couple points during the quarter where I can use doing it for fun as the world’s best coping mechanism.”
Body image insecurity is an issue that connects everyone, from the least active to fittest among us. No matter what you look like, we all share in the journey of learning to love ourselves.