The reading list

Growing up with a learning disability.

An illustration of a girl sitting surrounded by stacks of books wrapped in razor wire. // Illustration by Julia Vreeman

When someone Googles my name, one of the first links to pop up is an article about my elementary school. To summarize, Shadow Lake Elementary held an annual year-long read-a-thon with a school-wide grand prize. During kindergarten, the grand prize was for the dean of students and two of the teachers to kiss a pig.

Thanks to the other kids and me–who were included among the top readers– we reached the goal and they indeed gave the pig a kiss each in front of the whole school. Seeing my name as the top reader out of all the other kindergartners confused me.

How was my name first? Reading did not come easily to me. I spent so much time outside of school in my reading tutor’s living room where a light yellow colored wooden table with two kitchen table chairs and a bookshelf were all placed by the front window. Sitting in the chair side by side the tutor a few days each week, but that started the next year in first grade.

I don’t remember how I accomplished this, but what I do remember from kindergarten is sitting in the back left corner table in the classroom by myself. I would write stories out of stamps because I couldn’t spell well like the other kids. Even now I confuse spell check on a daily basis.

One in five students have a learning disability, with dyslexia being the most common, according to the Learning Disability Resource Foundation. Also, 25% to 65% of children with dyslexia have a parent who is dyslexic.

My mom is dyslexic. And as far as I know, I am too. Unfortunately, I don’t know for sure, as I was never diagnosed by a doctor even with the signs being present in my reading, writing and focus habits. I still struggle with spelling, I mix up my left and right, I confuse similar-looking words, and have trouble maintaining concentration.

My mom acting as the brave and caring person she is is the reason I was able to have the extra help outside of the public school district, Tahoma to be specific. My parent’s care is one of the reasons my two brothers and I were able to get the educational help we individually needed.

To her past, present and future elementary students she is Mrs. Boorn. The teacher who helps children with low reading scores succeed throughout the year improving their reading levels. To me, she is the person I watched work day and night raising three children in her twenties pursuing her master’s degree in education. Sure she missed sports games and school activities like music recitals because of her classes, but she was always right there within reach.

And somehow she always seems to know what the best plan of action will be when it comes to each of her children. In the same way, she knew I needed an English tutor to help me advance my reading and writing skills beyond what was the ability of a school teacher with 30 students. I needed one-on-one time with a specialist; that is how I got to know my tutor.

The reading tutor my mom found for me at the time worked in the surrounding school districts with my mom as a substitute teacher and as an instructional assistant otherwise known as a para. Her name is (I forgot her name it’s been too long…oops) what is important is what she was able to teach me; to love reading.

I looked up to my older brother, Owen who would read a new book a week without help. Never having to hesitate on words or skip a word because there were too many letters. I wanted to have bookshelves like his, stacked full of colorful books, having to try any which way to shove in another.

In my own way, I have accomplished that childhood goal. I have so many books there are stacks around my room, I have to keep all the books I’ve read on a separate shelve at my parents. Most importantly I don’t have to pretend I’ve read the book so I can fit in with the other kids. No more do I have to read the first few chapters and then skip to the ending because my library loan was due.

If I were face to face with a kindergarten me and told her these things she won’t have to do in the future to feel like she fits in with her classmates, she wouldn’t believe me. It would scrabble up her view of the world all because on her own in the future she’ll be able to read 90 books in a year. A total of 90 chapter books, no pictures just words in a year.

The impossible was made possible all thanks to my mom and my English tutor. And please forgive me for the days I wasn’t grateful at that age I didn’t realize just how magnificent the gift of reading is.